“By leaving these works ‘unfinished’ I am exploring that incomplete ideas hurt my confidence more than if they were ‘imperfectly’ complete. ”
The poetic writing of Jenny Slate’s book Little Weirds filled me with such a deep sense of self-recognition. These two works are a nod to two chapters that I felt particularly struck by such sharp visual imagery. I Died: Listening she describes her reaction to a conversation with a man who in his haste to explain why men should listen more to women, keeps interrupting her when she tries to share her experience of being dismissed. As a result her head topples off and rolls away.
Beach Animals is a story about the deep intimacy of unconditional friendship among women. The author describes a summer of joined-at-the-hip kinship with two women that echoes the deep appreciation I have for the friendships I have known and continue to feel the presence of in my life. She pairs this alongside the imagery of picking up a rabbit in a warm, sun filled garden to hold it tenderly in her arms as its whiskers tickle her cheek.
Beach Animals and I Died: Listening are on display for Emerge 10th Anniversary Exhibition at the Reach Gallery Museum Abbotsford from July 6, 2024 until March 8, 2025.
This series is my own way of reflecting on the many works that have lived and died in my imagination. Perfectly preserved like a new couch that exists wrapped in a protective layer of plastic. But sitting on these ideas I have lived shifting uncomfortably in my seat as the plastic surface sticks at the backs of my legs. Wincing at the relentless noise of the material rubbing together. Exciting concept after concept halted at the start like a runner paralyzed by the blast of the starting gun.
I have explored many ways to combat this. One of which was when I bought a Van Gogh Sunflowers paint-by-numbers kit hoping that the physical act of painting would help to push through the block. But instead, day after day I stared at the half-finished wall hanging as I grew increasingly discouraged by my inability to sit down and finish what I had started. It’s not for a lack of creativity but the shame that crept in and took hold the longer that I was stuck. For me, to create work for the Emerge 10th Anniversary Exhibition would have been performative without a reference to the impact this paralysis has had on my practice.
By leaving these works ‘unfinished’ I am exploring that incomplete ideas hurt my confidence more than if they were ‘imperfectly’ complete. The fact that these works are on the wall is proof enough to myself that the only way to push past the paralysis is to master the art of showing up. Being scared, but nonetheless moving forward with the certainty that simply a life that is centred around creating, will always be perfect.